BOOM! Double Update Time

Heres more of the Australia story.

Day One: Arrival
I've briefly covered some of the events of my arrival, here are the rest. Continuing on from The Clocktower and its ladyless ladys night, we proceed to the Beer Garden. now in my mind, the Beer Garden is like heaven, only better as there is a beer garden, unless theres one of those in heaven then BOOM! A sneaky fitty note to St Peter and I'm in! Anyway, the Beer Garden lacked a Garden of Beer or any serious drinkers, being filled with Australians who as we all know, are the little girls of the drinking world. Cannot drink to save themselves, and I was determined, nay DUTY BOUND to show them this. First drink? 4 Tequila shots. Second Drink? vodka shot into beer, drain, GODLIKE ABILITIES AWE THE CROWD! It didint take much of this for me to be titfaced, but my work was complete, these little princesses knew they were unworthy to even tie my drinking shoes (thank you Tucker Max).

At the Beer Garden, which kind of reminded me of a town hall, they had a live band. Ive never been in a bar with a live band that didnt sound like someone was fucking my ears wih drills, so to find one that was good was a pleasant change. We were dancing, grooving and jiving to the sweet Gold Coast Beats when the band started to play Jesse's girl. That was it for Sono, he lost it, apparantly he really likes that song. I remember him saying if it was a woman, he would engage in intercourse with said woman in a most vigorous manner. I cant repeat what he actually said, I'm too pretty for jail. We start to sing along, even though we can only remember two parts of the song, the "JESSE'S GIRL! DA NA NAA NA NA NA NA!" and "WHERE DO I FIND A WOMAN LIKE THAT!" We were all leaning on each other, shouting these two phrases over and over again, ignoring the band competely, when I went to get more beer. We were the only ones on the dancefloor. Im not saying the club was empty, oh no. 12am on a Fridaynight, Beer Garden packs to about 300-400 people. We were the entertainment of the night. I walked imperiously to the bar, revelling in my glory.


Okay so theres some more, but thats only two bars, on te first night. Theres me breaking my foot, gambling, running to the casino and more. It will come. Be patient.