New Year, Same Customers

I've been back a t work for six days. Six. Already I feel my will to live being destroyed by ridiculous requests and accusations. I've been accused twice of sabotaging machines. The how or why were not specified, but according to them, I can break myself down and fuse with the interwebs (I wish I was making this up), enter their machine and break it using my techromancer powers. PEOW BIATCH! One customer comes in almost daily and asks for obscure SCSI cards and insists that all the servers are using them lolzz!!1!! I HATE people like this. They don't know anything and will waste HOURS blabbering about random shit you don't care about. I would rather cut off my face and eat it than talk about computers outside of work, or even at work. I don't care if your computer doesn't work. At all. Not one bit. Even if I'm getting paid to do it, if it blows up or breaks or doesn't work in any way, I laugh. I laugh at you and your stupid face and not working computer. And it feels goooood.