Advance Australia Fair

Ok so, we left off at the beer garden. After the Jesse's girl incident, we were asked to leave Beer Garden. The details are hazy but I'm pretty sure it involved a heavyset Australian calling Sono a fag, and Sono being Sono he engaged in a spirited if unsuccessful glassing attempt. From the Beer Garden, we went to a Bar I cannot for the life of me remember. All I know is that I got bored within seconds of entereing and wanted to gamble. The others weren't as keen as I so I did the only rational thing I could. I busted out of that bar, shouting "FUCK YOU GUYS, IM GOING HOME" and sprinted into the dark, which was concealing a small wall which I ran into, breaking my ankle. Unperturbed, I ran the 3km to the Casino where in real life, I would be weeping like a girl. Alcohol turns me into a deity. After that? Well, Jeff turns up, we gamble and lose and stumble into the hotel at 4am.

The next day Sono and Kim left and Jeff and I were left to our own devices. This involved sleeping, eating so much pizza I can never look at pizza again and arguing. Good times. Eventually we decided to venture out into the hot Australian sun. The thing that struck me most about the outside world was how fake it was. I can have a good time pretty much anywhere, and I HATE those stupid "lets all get to know each other fun time games!" games they make you play. Every three feet someone was hawking a bar crawl and it sucked. That was the only thing I didnt like about surfers paradise, the hawkers. And all the Australians. We decide to check one of these crawls out, simply to stop being propositioned with good times every 5 seconds. Stop one, Beer Garden. Im liking this already, the only thing I didnt like? The stickers they made you wear. They were to let everyone know you were taken, single or horny. Really? Really Gold Coast? Im sure wearing a bright yellow sticker will make the ladies go wild for dick. I felt like I was in Greece with horny brits or something, it was gross. And I dont gross easily. I took as many taken stickers I could lay my hands on, while jeff created a rather impressive colalge out of the horny stickers. And with that, we were ready. Ill be hionest, I was a little dissappointed. The crowd was old, or ugly, or obviously prostitutes, and in some cases, a depressing mix of all three. It was then I decided to take my stickers off and blend witht hte crowd, these people were to avoided at all costs. we decided to stay and watch the rugby then catch up with the group later.


More of that later.