Final

I hate re-reading anything I've already written, especially anything from the start of this stupid thing. I just think "Who the crap is that guy?" and feel embarassed. I mean, yeah its good to have a record of past experiences and thoughts, but not when the guy having them is a douchebag, and its even worse when that guy is YOU.


So hopefully this will change and I can write stuff thats not drunken boring bullshit. Maybe.

With Uni on the rise, I can get back into hobbies I put aside while working/feeling sorry for myself. Like my photography! OH MAN it's going to be sweet to do that again! I just haven't had any drive to get out and do it, and I REALLY like doing it.

I really have no idea where this blog is going to be honest. I just ramble and talk about uninteresting topics for a while. Meh. I think this might be the last post. Yep. Im pretty sure it is.

For anyone who wants to find it my photoblog is at http://lifephotos.lifeyo.com/Photography/ and even this is going to be abandoned. I'll leave them both up, because it costs me nothing to do so, but they won't be updated.

Ill post the location of a new blog when I get it sorted. I think I need to take a more serious approach to writing this if its ever going to be of interest to anyone, so I'll give that a try. What to write about? Im not sure. maybe a podcast, or something.

SO long and thanks for all the fish.

Daniel out.

Updaaate Tiiiiime!

My girlfriend broke up with me at the beginning of January. What is it about my birthday that inspires this event, this is the second time this has happened! I was pretty upset, but all I could think was “Damn...someone forgot to buy a gift!”.  But in all honesty it had to happen, I can’t change the way she feels and if it’s not going to work I would rather know than be trapped in a relationship that’s going nowhere. 

I’ve been working at the Mahurangi Technical Institute as the IT manager since late December and I freaking love it. It is one of the best jobs I’ve ever had, easily on par with working at Tailor-made; in fact it edges it out by a smidge because there are no customers to deal with!

The only downside to my job, and it’s one that I’ve mentioned before, is that it reinforced my desire to not work in the IT industry. The stress is a constant factor and it’s something I’ve never liked about it. Nothing is ever finished, it may work fine but there is always, always, always the fear that it will break, and one day it will. It’s not a case of if with computers, but when.

Uni is back soon, and I’ve been debating whether to have the annual back to Uni party this semester. You see, in the past we’ve been fairly disruptive with our shenanigans, but due to recent...happenings...I have the distinct feeling that this would end badly, and I like where I live. I want to do something though, and that something will be Globe, again.

People always ask why I love Globe so much, seeing as I’m in there at least three times a week. I’ll tel you why I love Globe: it’s a relaxed, shitty place to drink, dance and be a retard. And that’s me all over. I’m not some suave cool dude, I hate the Viaduct with its suits and pretentious women. Give me loud, bass driven music and cheap drinks. Give me sticky floors, spilled drinks and laughter. I’m a great big, gumpish, blokey guy who laughs too loud, drinks too much and dances badly. But that’s the way I like it. So Globe is the place for me, or margaritas if I’m feeling fancy.

It always annoys me when I’m doing the Daniel shuffle (which consists of a sweet two step with kick ass arm movements reminiscent of an epileptic fit) and I inadvertently catch a girls and receive the look of death. Bitch please. I’m trying to have a good time, just smile back, I’m not going to hit on you or make a move. GET OVER YOURSELF. I’m not a retard, I can tell if you don’t want to dance, there is no need to act like a hobo just asked you to wash his balls. I’m just trying to be polite, how would you like it if you glanced over at some dude and he fucking scowled at you? You know what, every time I see this happening from now on, I’m going to give her the troll face, just stink eye that bitch out. HOW YOU LIKE IT!

Should make for a fun Friday night.

Ohhhhhh shit!

Three days in a row? Holy shit I must be bored. So I have exams coming out the ears, along with projects of varying size and urgency AND my lease is up soon AND I ate too much dinner.


I don't think games should ever be a chore, but thats what Skate 2 and Red Dead Redemption feel like. I just can't get into them, they lack something. I think its because I'm still obsessed with Metro and Deus Ex :D

I need new roommates. Just throwing that out there. If any of the zero people who read this need a place to live, I dont care if youre a meth addict made of guns, let me know. I need your money. It sustains me...

Urrrrgh Im stressed about thes egorram exams! I have one two days after my 40% assignment for Anthro is due. Why? Because the devil is real, and he hates me very much. I also have music stuff to do but thats not so urgent, Im not very good at it, which is disappointing because 1) I love music and learning it, 2) I work hard at trying to improve, I just don't improve. Its like I have dumb ears. BIG DUMB EARS!

So I hope this exam on the 1st goes well, I need it to get into my Stage 3 papers, I think I do at any rate, the new student services are horrible. NDEVA was bad, but at least it fucking told you what you needed to do. This system just ignores youre requests. Oh? YOu want to see how many credits you need? How about you sign up for a new degree first BIATCH! This is MY HOUSE! I RUN THIS SHIT!

I hate it.

AW YEAAAH!

Yeah thats right, another post, the day after another. I am a GOD. I'm reading Metro 2033 and loving it. It builds a lot on the game, and I reccommend it to anyone who's played it. The lore behind a lot of the events in the gane is explained and several characters are much more prominant than in the game. Kahn for example is a bad ass motherfucker in the book, not so much in the game. He pimpslaps the shit out of some Facists, burns a dude alive and fights a tunnell deamon. It is SICK! In game, he talks a lot and walks around being all mysterious. Yawn. By yawn I mean if metro was a person I would marry it and have weird soviet children with it. It is one of the best games I've played in years. The atmosphere is perfect, the confinement, paranoia and claustraphobia are masterfully executed and the art style is authentic. The weapon stylse are particularly good, each one feeling and sounding homemade. It is relatively faithful to the book, just not as detailed, which is a shame. I think that if it had included more of the book it would have been much more absorbing. I know it must be difficult to convey emotion in game, but more lore would have made it more Deus Ex, which is always a good thing. If my DX11 functionality worked I would tell you about that, but for some reason it doesn;t, so I can'. What I can tell you is that on DX10 it looks fantastic, and runs every smoothly on my pimpbeast PC.

Which brings me to the defing moment of my life, Deus Ex 3. It looks amazing, but these days we expect visual miracles from games. Im not going to rant about storytelling vs. visuals, its been done. And I have the perfect argument. Deus Ex. Just say that, and you win at that argument. And if someone says it wasn't that good, burn the heretic. In the face. But Halo Reach had blah bleeh blooh blaaah DEUS EX BIATCH! One of the best storys OF ALL TIME! That and FF7. And Chrono Trigger.

Once again I find myself inexorably drawn to my Rap collection. I don't know why, but I love rap. LOVE IT! Geto boys = AWESOME! Damn it feels good to be a gangster. I wake up to this song. It makes for a kickass day, I'll tell you that. Try it sometine, explore the worl dof rap, don;t be put off by the shit thats on TV, there are some real artists out there with something to say. And it sounds BALLIN SUKKAH! It is hard to write to though, I keep busting some sweet moves. Dance calls to me, PEACE!

Exam time again

Its that time again, exams I hate 'em! I only have two this semester which is pretty sweet. My quandry has been solved, sort of, about what to do next year and the subsequent years. I don't really know why I got so down about it to be honest, the world is my oyster at this point and I can pretty much do what I want. Have begun drinking Double Browns again, I missed them so much! I don't care what anyone says, that shit is delicious.

I watched Julie and Julia the other day, that movie is boss! I loved it. Boom. it was actually really good and I actually felt inspired by it. Its not often I can say I like a movie with Meryl Streep in it, because I dont like her acting style. For the same reason I don't like Jack Nicholas, except he has a giant creepy face that haunts my every waking moment, so that doesn't help. I would reccomend this movie though, it really is worth watching.

I also tried re-playing Battlefield Bad Company 2. How the hell did I make it through that game the first time. Every movement conjures a mighty dust storm that blinds the shit out of you, I almost had a stroke when for the umpeenth time a fucking ricochet summoned Dustonia, the god of fuck-off huge dust clouds, and he wrought his vengeance upon me. Also, fuck helicopters. In real life if they were as good as they are in that game, there would be no war because we would all be scared of the Angels of Death that hover over us ready to reach out with tounges of fire and hate and end us. Its redicuolous, if I fire a motherfucking ROCKET INSIDE THE COCKPIT, it doesnt explode. Bull.Shit. And then it proceeds to monumentally fuck your shit up. I've come to the conclusion that helicopters are powered by souls and fueled by babies, piloted by Hitler and Snake Ghandi.

Urghhhh

So I'm out in town, walking along minding my own business, when some random streetwalking whore of the night tells me that I should put a paper bag over my head. I've been called a lot of things by a lot of people, but for some reason this actually penetrated my calloused outer shell. It's because I didn't instigate it, I didnt even glance at this girl, yet she felt the need to insult me. Thanks bitch, nice job. I reemed her after I had recoverd my senses from this attack, it was like the americans after Pearl harbour. I was dropping inebriated nukes when some waistcoated dipshit felt the need to give an editorial of the situation. MISTAAAAAAKE! Who wears a waistcoat at night and what the fuck is it any business of his if I reem someone deserving of reeming? I make a point of not being mean to girls, even the stupid skanky ones, but an unprovoked attack? Boom.

I still feel kind of bad, damn my upbriniging! But not about wasitcoat fag, that guy sucks.

Sadness

Ayla Blake passed away on sunday. She will be missed by all who knew her and I know that everyones thoughts and prayers are with her family at this time. My memoreis of her are few, I never really knew her at school, but what I remember is the the permanent smile she had on and the sunny disposition she always had. I regret never knowing her, and that I'll never be able to.

Thats all I have to say.

Advance Australia Fair

Ok so, we left off at the beer garden. After the Jesse's girl incident, we were asked to leave Beer Garden. The details are hazy but I'm pretty sure it involved a heavyset Australian calling Sono a fag, and Sono being Sono he engaged in a spirited if unsuccessful glassing attempt. From the Beer Garden, we went to a Bar I cannot for the life of me remember. All I know is that I got bored within seconds of entereing and wanted to gamble. The others weren't as keen as I so I did the only rational thing I could. I busted out of that bar, shouting "FUCK YOU GUYS, IM GOING HOME" and sprinted into the dark, which was concealing a small wall which I ran into, breaking my ankle. Unperturbed, I ran the 3km to the Casino where in real life, I would be weeping like a girl. Alcohol turns me into a deity. After that? Well, Jeff turns up, we gamble and lose and stumble into the hotel at 4am.

The next day Sono and Kim left and Jeff and I were left to our own devices. This involved sleeping, eating so much pizza I can never look at pizza again and arguing. Good times. Eventually we decided to venture out into the hot Australian sun. The thing that struck me most about the outside world was how fake it was. I can have a good time pretty much anywhere, and I HATE those stupid "lets all get to know each other fun time games!" games they make you play. Every three feet someone was hawking a bar crawl and it sucked. That was the only thing I didnt like about surfers paradise, the hawkers. And all the Australians. We decide to check one of these crawls out, simply to stop being propositioned with good times every 5 seconds. Stop one, Beer Garden. Im liking this already, the only thing I didnt like? The stickers they made you wear. They were to let everyone know you were taken, single or horny. Really? Really Gold Coast? Im sure wearing a bright yellow sticker will make the ladies go wild for dick. I felt like I was in Greece with horny brits or something, it was gross. And I dont gross easily. I took as many taken stickers I could lay my hands on, while jeff created a rather impressive colalge out of the horny stickers. And with that, we were ready. Ill be hionest, I was a little dissappointed. The crowd was old, or ugly, or obviously prostitutes, and in some cases, a depressing mix of all three. It was then I decided to take my stickers off and blend witht hte crowd, these people were to avoided at all costs. we decided to stay and watch the rugby then catch up with the group later.


More of that later.

BOOM. Second update.

I stumbled across an interesting oxymoron the other day, a conversation on Facebok that wasn't toxoplasmosis dripping cat shit. The debate rages, skinny jeans, hot or shit? The two camps are in agreement on one factor, guys in skinny jeans suck penis's, and not even for a fee. They like that shit. Mmmmm, they say, penis, I'm mad for dicks. Thats you skinny jean wearing guys. The debte concerns the hotness of girls in said jeans. I've gotta say, this is a bit of moot point to be honest. The argument was made that they are hot only if fat people dont wear them. True, but simplistic. Fat people should wear giant shapless buirkahs, so we dont have to see them. I hate when they wear clothes made for skinny peolpe, It makes me hate, I am filled with hate.

Skinny people wearing clothes designed to show off this skinniness is acceptable. But I hate skinny girls. Theyre weird and skeletal. EAT SOMETHING! Theres a fine line. This is going nowhere, I just felt like rambling.

My photography is going well, I'm enjoying it anyway. I keep subkecting my girlfriend to scrutiny of the lensular persuasion, and she hates being photograhped. For those who know me, thats CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. i'm DETERMINED to make her not hate photos. I do need to get more though, photos that is, and people to be in them so if anyone is keen, let me know. Its not hard, those retardes on that model show do it so you can too.

BOOM! Double Update Time

Heres more of the Australia story.

Day One: Arrival
I've briefly covered some of the events of my arrival, here are the rest. Continuing on from The Clocktower and its ladyless ladys night, we proceed to the Beer Garden. now in my mind, the Beer Garden is like heaven, only better as there is a beer garden, unless theres one of those in heaven then BOOM! A sneaky fitty note to St Peter and I'm in! Anyway, the Beer Garden lacked a Garden of Beer or any serious drinkers, being filled with Australians who as we all know, are the little girls of the drinking world. Cannot drink to save themselves, and I was determined, nay DUTY BOUND to show them this. First drink? 4 Tequila shots. Second Drink? vodka shot into beer, drain, GODLIKE ABILITIES AWE THE CROWD! It didint take much of this for me to be titfaced, but my work was complete, these little princesses knew they were unworthy to even tie my drinking shoes (thank you Tucker Max).

At the Beer Garden, which kind of reminded me of a town hall, they had a live band. Ive never been in a bar with a live band that didnt sound like someone was fucking my ears wih drills, so to find one that was good was a pleasant change. We were dancing, grooving and jiving to the sweet Gold Coast Beats when the band started to play Jesse's girl. That was it for Sono, he lost it, apparantly he really likes that song. I remember him saying if it was a woman, he would engage in intercourse with said woman in a most vigorous manner. I cant repeat what he actually said, I'm too pretty for jail. We start to sing along, even though we can only remember two parts of the song, the "JESSE'S GIRL! DA NA NAA NA NA NA NA!" and "WHERE DO I FIND A WOMAN LIKE THAT!" We were all leaning on each other, shouting these two phrases over and over again, ignoring the band competely, when I went to get more beer. We were the only ones on the dancefloor. Im not saying the club was empty, oh no. 12am on a Fridaynight, Beer Garden packs to about 300-400 people. We were the entertainment of the night. I walked imperiously to the bar, revelling in my glory.


Okay so theres some more, but thats only two bars, on te first night. Theres me breaking my foot, gambling, running to the casino and more. It will come. Be patient.

Australia

As promised, the Australia Update.

After a hellish, smelly Bulgarian filled flight, I was treated to a $50 dollar cab ride into surfers by the most racist old woman I have ever met. But I don't want to talk about her because its less time talking about myself. My first experience of Sirfers proper was being enveloped by a hulking ginger mass. At first I was alarmed, byut when I realised it was weeping I knew it was my heterosexual life partner, Mr Jeff.I LOVE YOU MAN. Boom. Dropped the L-bomb.

After a moment of man love hugging, I was introduced to Sono and Kim, two of jeffs army men. I cannot remember a thing I said or waht was siad by either of them, no matter how hard I try, but from the moment I met them I could not stop laughing. Two of the fummiest guys I've ever met, and I can't remember anything at all. Not because I was epicly trashed, just because so much happened and got jumbled in my head. I do remember being forced to eat what seemed to be an inordinate amount of pizza, and being told by sono my hair looked like a fucking mop and I was a fag. Hmm...in retrospect I think I just blocked out what they were saying, I feel like it followed this pattern for quite some time.

More to come, im tired and no-one cares.

Resolution

God. How long has it been? Stars have flared into supernovas between posts it seems. So my New Years resolution (yeah its late so what? What are you my Dad?! FUCK YOU!) is to do regular updates twice a week. I swear it on all I hold sacred, free beer and money, that this will be so.

So I passed another semesters work. At this point it feels like I'm cheating, I have done literally no work. Well thats not true, in fact thats a straight up lie. I lied to you. Im sorry ghosts that read this. I actually did pretty well so high five to me for that. Have yet to initiate contact with the others at uni, I just cannot be bothered. I know I should but the thought of having to act normal long enough to establish some kind of tenuous relationship makes me feel lethargic in the extreme.

My one brief foray into the world of uni friends ended disastrously. As I have mentioned before, I came to uni in the hopes that I would enter a drinking culture that could match my insatiable appetite for beer and good times. Sadly, the opposite is true. They drink "in moderation" and take "responsibility". What the fuck? Are you serious? I'm older than a large majority of the students,  and yet I feel like a juvenile. Its ridiculous they act like old men, even the girls, no ESPECIALLY the girls. Never have I encountered a more pretentious prudish collective of peoples. I feel compelled, nay, driven by a holy geas to fuck that shit up. On this particular occasion, having imbibed vast amounts of beer for the most of the day I decided to approach a likely looking group and introduce myself. the conversation went something like this:

Me: So what do you guys take?

Uninterested girl: Music

Me: Oh thats cool, I'm doing music as well

Awkward nerd: ...

Other guy, probably gay, he was drinking wine: We were actually just leav-

Me: Yeah I'm majoring in English, you now everything boils down to dicks?

SILENCE. I take another gulp of beer, time to drop a bomb on these sukkahs.

Me: Its crazy, it turns out everything is penis's.  Nothing but dick this and dick that. Sausage and beans all day over there!

Disgusted girl: Uhm..I don't think that-

Me: ARE YOU CALLING ME A LIAR! I'LL KILL YOU BITCH! I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!

I think it was at this point they left,to be honest I blacked out for a while. Which brings me to the inevitable conclusion, they're not the problem, I am. Im too weird, I cant function in the real world or outside the circle of friends I accumulated over the years who are just as odd as me.

To be honest, I don't give a fuck, I'd rather be weird and awesome than boring and old at 22.

Im off to Australia, stories to follow.

Too long

What with one thing and another I dont really update this as often as I should. But somethings been bugging me lately and so BAM! New post.

Hobos.

Motherfucking hobos.

I HATE them, with every fibre of my being. I live directly across from the city mission, and all I hear all night long are those filthy sons of bitches. All. Night. Long. I've told people this before, and they say I'm being a jerk, and theat I need to be more understanding. Well, to them I say, SHUT THE HELL UP! You dont know shit, d you live next to hobotopia? DO you have to listen to their INCESSANT SCREAMING ALL GODDAM NIGHT? Why the hell are they screaming anyway? Its nonsesnsical jabber! MY GHOST DAWG ATE MAH SHOOOOOES!

Im going to invest in a trident, then smite them like a vengeful Zeus.

AMERICA, FUCK YEAH

Thats it, fuck new Zealand universitys, American Campus's look like the absolute SHIT! If movies have taught me anything (and theyve taught me so much already) its that NOTHING compares to an American College Campus. university in New Zealand is, lets face it, boner blastingly dull. Dull dull DULL! What we need is frat houses, a real sense of University community would really help out the drive for higher education in this country, instead of the loose swirl of dick head pretantious fucktards that amass on any given day at the uni. It may be a pipe dream, an unobtanable goal but FUCK IT I want to study in America, even if it's just for a semester, just to see what that shit is like. The drinking age is 21 over there, thats awesome, gives me an advantage, especially as I am 22 now, thats 4+ yearxs of drinking experience to their however long it is.

Another reason, goddam FOOOTBARR! I love that shit! YOu dont get the same level of fanatasicsm you do in the states, they have fuckng RIOTS when they win, that is AWESOME! That is something I can definetly endorse and get behind, fuckingsomeones shit UP!

Thats it, thats all, Im done for now.

YEAAAAAAARGH

Once again its time to post! Many may things have happened since the last post, and because Im lazy Im just going to list them. I passed my first year of uni without doing any actual work, because I am AWESOME and I have a new girlfriend who is AWESOME! I would write more but I just got COD:MW2 so too bad

Project

Currently swamped with uni work, but have something cool in the works, will post pictures when I can be bothered (never). Had a friends birthday on the weekend, it followed the now entrenched SOP (standard operating procedure):

Arrive
Drink
Fight
Leave

This ALWAYS hapens. It could be a 5 year olds birthday, some how, someway, this will occur. For the record, mum and dad I know you read this, im not the fighting kind. Except when I am.

Wear some real clothes retard.

Yeargh, nothing enrages me more than seeing fucktards wearing skinny jeans. Im not talking about women, that shit was designed for them, but on dudes it makes me want to stab. "OOH loook how faggy and anoerexic I am! I don't conform to aaaaanyones rules teeheehee!" PURGE. Buy a real pair of jeans, no one wants to look at your stick legs and fucked up dye job you sack of crap. Even worse are those goddam tassled scarves. They dont make you look cool, they make you look like a shithead. Ironically, this style is known as "Indy". Ironic you say? Well children, "indy" is short for idividual, meaning you express your own style through fashion and accessories and blah blah blah pretention and faggetry. So dressing like all the other indy shitheads makes you "conformy" and by your own standards something to despise. But wait! you cry, I'm special, just look at this deep poetry I wrote, look at my exquisite writing style! My clothes reflect who am as a person! Look at meeeeee! WRONG. Youre not special, you're just like everyone else, except worse because youre an attention whore and you dress like a retard. Just remeber, when the brilliance of my works smites your skull in twain, its down the highway, not across the street. God forbid you pollute the earth with your misbegotten progeny.

Exams are bullshit

I think the title explains it all. Exams are bullshit, all they test is your ability to not have a life and regurgitate information you immediatly purge in order to make room for the next slot of useless information. I'd write more, but I have to study. Blaaaaaaaah.

I made learning my bitch

I remember when I started at uni, everyone I spoke to said "You have to do all the readings and study like 30 hours a week", tio which I thought, no fucking way I'm doing that. So I didn't, and it worked, nothing but B's and B+'s. This only confirms what I've known all along, I am the greatest in the world at everything.

Exams in two days, ughhh, I hate them.

UNIVERSITY IS BORING!

Not really a news flash, anywhere that has concentrated academia is usually piss poor on the excitement front. Don't get me wrong, theres always something happening, some event or another, it's just that I feel like I need a lobotomy to enjoy them. Plant some trees! No thanks, I'd rather do something fun, namely, anything else. Also, classes are intensly boring. Make that shit more interesting! Have fireworks and elephants, maybe that would solve student apathy. Seriously, learning about psycholingusitics would be MEAN if the lecturer was doing flips and shit everywhere or juggling chainsaws. Learning about the Minankabau people of Indonesia would be sweet if presented by A GIANT ROBOT WITH LAZER EYES! It isnt, sadly, but imagine if it was, I wouldn't miss a single class.

Its fricking cold as well. Bring on Global Warming!